classist fashion and design trends would be immediately copied and distributed widely, thereby stripping them of their absurd power. either that or they would just be mocked ruthlessly.

getting 8 hours of sleep would be mandatory, so you could just come to work later if you were up late with acid reflux, existential angst, a baby, or ... whatever keeps you up at night.

food would be nutritious again.

people would actually be paid to do things like write, play music, and make art. these are incredibly labor-intensive undertakings, which we take for granted and sell-short in our current economy.

all weekends would be three day weekends, and no one would ever work when they're sick.

the internet would be abolished since it is a tremendous and vain waste of time, and all essential information would be transmitted by a flock of volunteer carrier pigeons.

also, all books will be common property stored in public libraries, so that we would have to share our access to knowledge and would have to read in social spaces (are you really reading the 85,600 pages of reading material around your room all at once?).

people would never wear weather-inappropriate clothing just to fit in. goodbye business casual. hello short shorts! hot pants would be mandatory in my socialist utopia.

in alex's communist utopia, there would be no money economy. sounds good to me. resolution passed unanimously.

capitalists would be re-educated by one of the following methods:
1) losing their jobs and suffering from unemployment without benefits
2) being sent abroad, with their children, to make shoes in a sweatshop or go blind producing computer chips
3) taking on the task of cleaning America's waterways

an army of librarians comprise the secret police. their primary task is to control the stupidity of the populace. of course, some will have to be sacrificed for the greater good.

corporations and senators wither into history while non-profits, NGOs, the old state bureaucracies, and academics (because they are obviously so effective) take over.

all european import luxury cars (and lexuses, for good measure) would become state property so that the uber intelligentsia could ride in style (while planning the fate of THE WORLD. c'mon! it is a pretty special job).

Wal-mart would be nationalized and renamed the People's Discount Store. Production of needless crap would be halted immediately. Resources that formerly went into useless crap would be rerouted for state-approved necessities.

the meat industry only exists for people like me who can't digest vegetarian forms of protein.